Monthly Archives: June 2010

What? I’m not there yet?


The other day I talked about musical influence on my life. I realized tonight that I’m almost a musical dud in my family. My mother and my sister and both sides of my family are really musical. I realized that my harmonizing sucks sometimes my instrumentals are not very good. I am behind in a lot of stuff musically and artistically. So what am I good at? I like to read, anything. No one can touch me there. Take that Shakespeare.


Oh My God


So I’ve been rereading the Outlander series. I’m almost done with the third book. At the beginning of the book the main male character was planning to die but he didn’t. But Murtagh, his godfather, does die. Murtagh is one of those strong silent types you’re never sure if like you.

He entertains me to no end.

And he died between the second and third books.

And Fergus, the illegitimate French kid that annoys me, lives.

How retarded is this? I really want to know. Really, I do.



In high school I was a major good girl. I mean more major than I am now. It’s not a bad thing, I’m just putting out there that I’m a good kid.

Anyway I went on a mission trip to inner city Chicago when I was 16 AND 17. It was a good time. 13 vans with truck handles and almost 200 kids. I name my cars after the trucker handles, but I’ve only used 2 of them, don’t worry I still have a ways to go. I’m not going to get a new car any time soon.

Anyway these ND kids went back for a 20th year. Not the original kids but kids. They arrived late Saturday night. I thought to myself. Wow 20 years. Started by one man that had a vision. I wish I had that kind of vision. People’s lives and the church that they go to, have been touched for the past 20 years. I had a part of that. What I want is a vision that I can start that is going to be that important. I can do it. I just need a fantastic idea. Easier said than done.

Break out into song? I’m there!


So music has been a big part of my life ever since I can remember. I’ve been singing ever since I can remember, I started piano when I was 7, Chuch choir at 6th grade, jr. and sr. high school choir, worship leader for 2 and a half, band from 5th grade to sophmore in college, small groups in chuch and school. Is that it? Yeah I think so. But unfortunately I’ve been M.I.A. from the music scene the past two years. It almost hurts watching others perform. But my voice is horribly out of shape, my fingers aren’t that stiff but they aren’t as flexible and my lips would swell after maybe 15 minutes of trombone.

It almost hurts to watch others perform because it was such a big thing for such a large part of my life.

Anyway here’s my problem. Anything with music on tv or that I’m actually present to see brings a smile to my face and a glimmer to my eye. I’m obviously meant to perform for the rest of my life BUT where do I start to get going again. I’d love to start singing again or playing again but I’m moving, I don’t know who to talk to. oi exhausting.

Shut off!!!!!……Please?


So I hate when I have a remote to anything and I’m pointing it straight at the item it belongs to and that thing won’t turn on or off. It’s like you’re practically slamming the button against an anvill and it just doesn’t work.

That is how my brain is right now. I can’t shut it off. It won’t stop. It just goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes. What do I do about this? Can I exchange my brain for a tired one. If I can exchange my brain can I get a really really smart one that helps me fix all my problems and the world problems and get me a man?

Yup, it’s about 20 after 1 and I’m still awake and I work in about 7 hours. See I accidently took a two-hour nap starting at 7. I didn’t mean to sleep it just happened. And it wasn’t one of those oh this is a nice little snooze, I slept hard. I faintly remember my roommate and her friend come in but I totally missed a phone call from my sister. I never miss phone calls. I hear a foreign beeping noise or some automated noise and I’m up and there is no going back for me. Wellll, as refreshing as this nap was. IT THREW OFF MY GROOVE. If you haven’t seen the Emperor’s New Groove do so now. It’s a cartoon but totally worth it.

The one good thing about this nap throwing me off is that I finished rereading the second Outlander book. oh Jaime Fraser, you do make me swoon and sigh and all the appropriate adolescent things that at 22 I should be over. Again read these books if you haven’t, especially if you are female and like a couple that is equal to each other.

I do get a lot done when not sleeping, I really do. But I like my groove. If found please return it to me. I like to shut off my brain by 1 in the morning.

Why cause?


So I have this nephew. Okay I have a niece, nephew and a step niece and nephew. But I have a nephew. He is pretty much the light of my life right now because my Jaimie Fraser hasn’t came yet. To understand that comment, read yesterday’s blog. Anyway my nephew is my pretty much the coolest kid ever. He’s 2. Yup 2.

Now please remember that with how much I love the kid and how much I love hanging out with him, he’s not my kid. I don’t have to deal with his 2 year old-ness. I was home today to leave some stuff because I’m slowly moving. Anyway, I was talking to mom and she was like your nephew is starting to be 2 and throwing some tantrums and asking why cause. I laughed because I can see this kid saying it.

I was thinking driving back. Why can’t I ask why cause? I want to be able to question things. Not that I don’t all ready but I want to have some attitude some days. Like when I’m in a big confronted by someone one or something. That would be great.

Be still my heart


So I might have mentioned Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander before. In it this woman time travels to the mid 1700’s Scotland and falls in love with a man named Jaimie Fraser. I don’t blame her.

I love Jaimie Fraser.

I would marry him if he weren’t a fictional character

My future husband has a lot to live up to.

The first book of the series when Jaimie and this other woman, okay really her name is Claire one of my favorite names by the way, meet he’s injured and he has to ride a horse a long ways and he’s injured and by the way Claire saves him and Claire is riding the horse with him. Anyway he’s injured and was like you’re cold and he tries to undo some of his kilt to wrap her in it to warm her. This is the FIRST time they meet and he’s being such a nice man. And he protects her and and and and….ooooohhhh. This is about the time I get stars in my eyes and I get a goofy grin on my face. Everyone needs to read this book. It is completly worth it.

So granted Jaimie Fraser is a fictional character and in real life in the 1700’s there were not all chivilrous men like Jaimie, the book tells you this. But where are the chivilrous men now? I’m waiting for my Jaimie and he’s not coming to cover me in his kilt. Do I have to save his life like Claire did? Really, that’s a lot of work, saving a man’s life. But I guess true love is worth it.