18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
For me, I think it’s been select decisions that I’ve made towards a certain guy I knew in high school. We were “dating”. It was one of those situations that it was mainly by MSN Messenger and it wasn’t really dating but we really liked each other and we really never told anyone about it. So there’s not many other details you need to know but by the end of our junior year it ended. I was kind of went crazy on him because I think I was more into the “relationship” than he was. It’s more complicated than it sounds. Trust me.
It’s taken me a while to come to terms on how I acted. I ruined what could have been a really great friendship. He was really good as a friend but that’s not what I wanted and I ruined it. What was I thinking right?
I don’t know maybe it was for the best. Was the level of friendship I had with him before the best for both parties, probably not. Was the way I acted at the end right, absolutely not. Like I said it’s taken me a while to come to terms on what happened. I’ve forgiven myself for it, now it’s in his court. I’ve tried to contact him and he chooses not to reciprocate. I understand. It didn’t end well. I wouldn’t want to talk to me either if I were in his shoes.
So person the hardest to forgive is myself. It’s an ongoing process which will never end because it’s on a transgression by transgression basis