For Your Next Trip


I think that we should all take a moment of silence because the last community band practice of the year was last night and last performance will be on Thursday….. Now what will I do on Monday nights? Oh yeah, Lion’s club and Chamber meetings. And Saxy Brass starts Wednesdays in October. That’s 2 months away. I was just putting together my report for my board and I put on that we need to talk about the Halloween event because if we do it, I need to start planning it. That makes me nervous. It’s not supposed to be August yet.

So today was a busy day. I’ve worked in tourism for a while. I’ve been around tourism on and off since 2007. I definitely have pet peeves for tourists. Here’s my list.

1. When you walk in and the attendant says “How may I help you today?” Do not reply with “is this the museum?”. Because you never know if you’re going to hit a bad day and the attendant will answer “No, we just put up a sign saying we’re a museum. It’s a cover for our drug and prostitution business.”

2. Make sure you know where your animals are allowed. Some hotels don’t allow animals, I don’t let animals in my museum. People just assume that pets are allowed everywhere. They aren’t.

3. Children. They are a blessing and I want some one day. But there are certain ways you and your children act in public. I could tell you stories where I gave children the death stare and was almost successful. They shouldn’t be touching all the merchandise and they shouldn’t be yelling. There’s cute and then there’s hellion. Fine line people, fine line.

4. You know that employee that looks like they’re on their break or just getting off work? Like they’re untucking or unbuttoning their shirt and they look a little bit more relaxed? That probably means they are, in fact, on their break or getting off work. Don’t bother them. Dealing with tourists is tough. That smile isn’t always genuine. And if it’s a tourist town, that employee is probably going to get drunk. You are infringing on their “fun” time.

5. Don’t forget your manners. Oh my GOD. This is a huge thing with me. I get that traveling is tough and that vacation with some families is even tougher. But don’t take it out on me. I didn’t do anything to you but ask how I can help.

6. What kind of cash are you carrying? If it’s early in the morning or it’s a small little institution on your way to somewhere, chances are they aren’t going to be able to break a $50 or $100. And when you make us break it, it makes us flipping crabby and then if it’s a place where the attendant is alone, they have to shut down business to run to the bank. Make sure you have tens or twenties.

7. Be specific. You walk into an ice cream/fudge store and you say I want chocolate. Well is that cone (cake or waffle, single or double), dish (single or double), malt, shake, one of the chocolate fudges? Do you need a cot in your hotel room? Ask for it. Make sure you know what you want and that people know that you want it.

8. Do NOT trash your hotel room. Someone that isn’t your mother cleans that room. And don’t forget your underwear. You want that and I don’t want to touch the clothing that touched your privates. And those broken condoms? Loved touching that. I didn’t puke in my mouth at all. That was sarcasm….if you couldn’t tell.

9. I know this one is hard but do you really have to touch glass? Just come in the building and see what’s in it. We have to clean that glass. I’m sure just walking into a building could get you into trouble especially if you don’t look at the signs (see #1) but honestly. Get your crap together.

10. Check hours. Why would a small town museum be open until 6? Really? Did you not realize that small towns close up early? It’s rude to stay late and the employees probably have plans after work because even though there isn’t much going on, there are still things to do and people to see or meetings to attend. Remember my 5:35 meetings? Yeah.

Well that’s the list. For now.


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