Dear Southern Men…….Why?


I’ve seriously been struggling for a post lately. I have 4 started and can’t seem to finish any of them. I haven’t finished any good books lately, because let’s face it: It’s summer and tourist season. I don’t even have funny tourist stories right now. I don’t have a rant or a list. I’m dry for funny stories period. I’ve just been going to meetings, work and working on an embroidery commission. Last night “The Time Traveler’s Wife” was on television. Did they screw up that movie or what? That’s a book that’s good on paper but can’t translate on the screen. There’s too much that defines the couple and too many little things that make time-travel complicated.

I’m slowly making my way through Biblical Women and who they Hooked up with by Susan McGeown. It has a lot of interesting points and there will probably be a post on it when I finally make it through it. It’s not one of those books you can read 5 chapters of in a night. There’s a lot of things to think about when reading. Some things I haven’t ever thought of before or never knew.

So this morning was laundry day. The usual attire for laundry day for me is yoga pants pulled up a little to high (give me a break, pulling them up makes them look normal), tee-shirt, hair in a pony tail or messy bun (usually I haven’t combed my hair before laundry), my teeth aren’t brushed (which is weird, not brushing my teeth usually bothers me to no end) and glasses. It’s laundry, why do I have to look good? It’s because I have to do laundry, I don’t look good. So I get to the laundry mat and park behind this Nebraska pickup. I automatically think that the owner is oilfield. Not a stupid assumption since I live on the cusp of oil country and that will turn into oil country in a few years. So I walk in and there’s two guys sorting laundry. I don’t really look at them because it’s Saturday and I look not great and I’m caught in my own little world. So all of a sudden I hear “How are you today ma’am?”. I look around and see there’s no other female there. I always think that when someone calls me ma’am, they’re really making a mistake and they mean someone else. I’m 25, not a ma’am. So I answer and I look at the guy. He’s tall, wearing Levis (not Wranglers but the next closest thing) and not unfortunate looking. And for those of you wondering, there wasn’t much of a conversation after this because I was a little fugly looking.

I’ve noticed a random thing about guys from the north and the guys from the south (and yes, I’m calling Nebraska south because I’m from North Dakota. Everything is south from here). Guys from the south use ma’am for every female. It’s a manners thing, I get that. Manners are different here in the north than the south. But I’m not a ma’am. I’m 25. I don’t feel old enough for ma’am. My mother is a ma’am. But I’m also not a miss. So this does put a southern man in a little bit of a pickle. You use a sign of respect for a female so what do you use for people like me?

I’ve also noticed more a chivalry thing with Southern men. Not necessarily a bad thing but I can seat myself. I will let a man open my door for me though. There also seems to be a more protective nature of Southern men, you just take care of a woman, even if she isn’t yours. Why is this? I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, it’s just I haven’t been around males in a while because I’m kind of a loner because all I do is work so I’m not used to it. And I do have to admit, a mild southern accent with the right guy is okay.

If you want to discuss these differences or explain things to me, please do. And don’t think that since I’m talking about Southern men, I don’t like Northern men. I do like Northern men, I’m super used to them, I grew up with them.

End Post.


6 responses »

  1. I feel your frustration, I’ve been dealing with the exact same thing. I just cannot find the inspiration. Like, I’ve read Two percy jackson books back to back and I’m now working on the third one and yet i am just not able to come up with witty and interesting reviews. It sucks! Maybe its the month or something. August steals inspiration.

    As for your Southern men story, they sound a bit like unicorns! Polite and well mannered without ulterior motives? I cannot wait to meet these southern gentlemen!

  2. Pretty lady. That should be the 20-something in between greeting. From an older, southern gentlemen crowd it would be “little lady”.

    It’s an old school mentality… “women are to be protected because they’re soft” but where things have gone wrong are that women have become offended by this and it’s not really meant to be taken negatively. That used to just be the way things were ran in the south (and I can only speak about Southern lifestyle because it’s ALL I know). But we took care of each other. We fixed meals when someone died or had a baby. Our neighbors were allowed to spank/punish us if we acted up. It really took a village and that’s exactly what our small town was. You couldn’t act out because your mama was going to hear about it within the hour. There weren’t so many excuses made and more personal responsibility expected. It sounds so stifling and awful in words but it’s not. It’s intimate and it’s what our world has lost. Some people are just good and don’t have a motive. Shocking and hard to believe? Yes. True? Mostly.

    I so miss this mentality. And even though I live in the epitome of the south(Georgia) it’s almost all lost here in the suburbs of Atlanta. And that makes me sad. This post left me longing for those ‘good ole days’, in a good way. Thanks for the reminder, I need to work on my male offspring, he has a lot to learn. 😉

    • Depending on the person saying “Pretty Lady”, I think I’d feel safer with ma’am. “Pretty Lady” can come off creepier than ma’am.

      I totally get the old school mentality and Northerners do have some kind of chivalry, it’s just different. I think that I was just surprised by Ma’am because I looked homeless.

      I’m glad I could remind you of good times.

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