My Wallowing/Rant Post


So my friend MJ got accepted into grad school. Now we can text each other panicking about life and our future and not just me texting her how I’m scared. I told her she would get in and she doubted me. This is proof that you shouldn’t doubt me. I know things. I just know. One shouldn’t question me.

Just to warn everyone now, this is kind of a “poor me” attitude post. This is more for me venting this out so I can move on. So you’ve been warned.

So I’m single and if you’ve followed this blog at all, you know that I have periods of being okay with that and not being okay with that and sometimes I just don’t talk about it. And trust me, I know I get annoying when I do talk about it. It annoys me, so I assume it annoys others. But being single in a small town isn’t easy. Being single anywhere isn’t easy. It gets to a girl. So when you have friends that say “Let’s go out, it’ll be fun” you kind of don’t look forward to it because everyone is married or is in a very committed relationship. It’s not rare that I am the only single person in the room. I don’t know where I was the day where the significant others were handed out in the small towns, but I missed it. So 90% of the time these outings get awkward. Especially if you go out to the bar and let’s face it, it’s a small town in North Dakota. Pretty much every get together involves alcohol. I’m not a big drinker, but I can handle some alcohol. Just don’t tell my mother or grandmothers that. But you go out, you get a decent amount of adult drinks in people and they start figuring out that significant others are good for more than just looking at. Then there’s me. Feeling awkward and a little grossed out by the people who forgot that they’re not necessarily the prettiest picture when they’re groping.

So I tend to scope out all the single people. My friend R is a single mother, MJ is single, my friend H (the one who wanted a rib-eye steak for her birthday but ended up ordering the hot guy) is single. This is what I need. I need the single people in the world to back me up. The single people have let me down the past couple of years. Shame on all of you. Where have you been? Especially during the holiday season. I know I said I love the holiday season and I do but still, doesn’t make it easy when everyone but you and one cousin is coupled off. It was so much easier when we were all single and thought the opposite sex had cooties. If I didn’t like guys so much, they’d still have cooties. The creepy ones still do.

Then I get the people who are standing right in front of me and talking to someone else and ask when I’m going to get married. Don’t rush me into this. And don’t ask someone else when I’m going to get married, ask me when I’m going to get married. Chances are (and chances are good) that the person that you’re talking to doesn’t know. I know, or have a good idea. This is another frustration with living in a small town, everyone is in your business. Sometimes it’s not bad, like when I get asked what grade in school I’m in, but leave my love life alone, it’s mine. Unless I specifically ask you if you know anyone, leave my love life alone.

Don’t get me wrong, when it comes to the guys I’ve been “involved with” I wouldn’t go back to those guys. There was a reason that those relationships didn’t pan out. The kind of boyfriend from high school especially. I was just to young to realize it then however. I’m not asking for some whirlwind romance or anything, I’m just asking for something stable, something I can take slow and steady for a long time. The holiday season makes me realize this even more. And since I mentioned it, what’s with the phrase “involved with”. Isn’t it your with someone or not? Being “involved” makes it sound like a business deal to me.

Well, hopefully I didn’t bore/annoy people with this post.


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