Category Archives: family

Not a Book Review. Life.

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I have gone back and forth on this post. After the last personal post, I told myself I wouldn’t do a personal post again because I got some criticism from people that made me upset. I figured why should I share my life if I get what I got. But then thinking, I shouldn’t be scared to share my life on my blog. I shouldn’t let the criticism get to me especially when it’s from someone who doesn’t know the whole story. There are people who have followed me since before I became a book blog. I didn’t hold back before and although I probably will here back more now, I’ll see how it works having personal stuff back on the blog. And this post will be pretty personal because just journaling isn’t enough sometimes.

It’s one thing to come back from living in a foreign country. Everyone reacts a little different. Some people transition just fine, some go through PTSD. It depends on what went on when they were overseas, what’s gone on back home, personality. It depends on a lot of things. If I came back last summer to a perfect situation, I think I would have transitioned fine. But it was not perfect. First I came back to a family that didn’t know how to react to me or help me. Then I also came home to a not great situation with the friend who was like my sister. She was going through a lot, more than me, and I couldn’t support her. So until 2 weeks ago, we’ve been going back and forth. In her grief she said things that I took way to personally and still haunt me. I told her minor things that were wrong when there was more going on to shield her. Two weeks ago or so, she said enough and we’re through. Forever. I think it’s a good thing that we have parted ways, in a way. There was a lot of anxiety and hurt on both sides. But forever is a long time.

In December, what prompted that last personal post, my sister-in-law left my brother. There’s a lot of details that I’m not going into with that. Just know that it has not been a great situation. They have been together almost 18 years, almost 2/3 of my life, and she was like a sister to me and now the respect and love is not there anymore. This one didn’t hit me hard, it hit everyone hard because they didn’t let anyone know what was going on.

So within too short of a time I have lost two women who were like family. One I will take a lot of the responsibility for because there were things I should have done differently. But hindsight is 20/20. The other wasn’t my fault. I looked around and realized that the other people who were in my life previously had not asked how I was holding up. They saw and knew of what was going on and still did not want to know. I admit some blame on some relationships going south because I won’t let anyone close anymore. But it’s hard to want people close to you when you hurt and you feel like you’re the only one trying. Again, that’s not with everyone that was in my life, but it’s with some.

What do I have now? I have no close friends I can rely on. Though my family is close, I cannot adequately convey to them what has all gone on and get what I need from them. I have trust issues. I hurt. I’m in various stages of grief. I have the want to start new somewhere but am scared to leave. I have a hard time doing a lot reading. I hit a reading slump. I have read a lot so that doesn’t worry me. Reading’s been the one thing that has made me feel understood.

Since I’ve come home, have I been selfish and self-centered and hard to deal with and unfair and done a lot of harm to a lot relationships? Yes. Do I have anxiety? Hell yes. It’s not fun. Am I still going through re-entry? Sorta. Coming back to your culture gets easier but you still have moments. Have I shared too much in this post? Probably. Are there things I will have wish I had added in this post? Most likely. I realize I have not been a lot of good things in the past two years. I get that. I realize that. I’m trying to work on that.

Now will every blog from now be like this? No. I just wanted people to know what was going on. It’s a lot. So if I haven’t seem normal, there’s a reason. I will never be the old me who was always joking around. I mean, I’ll joke around but it won’t be the same.

 

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Still Allice….Still Me.

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So since about Tuesday, Wednesday for sure, I’ve been really anxious. About nothing really. But a couple things that have happened since Wednesday; rough time at work, other….things, stuff like that culminating this weekend, I’ve been an emotional wreck. Enter Still Alice by Lisa Genova. This book may or may not been the start of my emotionalness. I really don’t know for sure if this is what started my funk. But it definitely attributed.

Okay first of all, I love the iridescent like white cover with blue lettering on it. So much better than the movie cover. Second of all, synopsis. Alice is a cognitive psychology professor at Harvard and is known for her work in linguistics. She finds out that her memory problem isn’t just her getting older. She has early onset Alzheimer’s. This book is mainly about her experience. It is a piece of fiction.

I was very nervous about starting this book. It’s a book that my book club in Budapest is doing for the month of August. I wasn’t nervous because I wasn’t going to be back for book club for this meeting or ever, for that fact. I was nervous because of my history with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. My mom has been a nurse in the same nursing home since I can remember. I remember her being at work and wondering around looking for her and seeing people with dementia and never really knowing how to deal with them. I did eventually get used to it. It’s different when you start working in a nursing home that has dementia residents. I have a different attitude towards dementia now that I’ve worked with it more closely. It’s this weird combination of being numb and broken heartedness. Some of the people I work with, I knew before the dementia kicked in and a lot of them, I’ve seen get worse. You deal with them so they’re settled but you hate seeing them not remember where they are and worried because they don’t know where their spouse is, so on and so forth. You also see people that you once knew as kind and loving people turn into mean people. Being at the nursing home and doing a little education, I understand that. How angry do you get if you misplace your keys? For people with dementia, their lives are ‘I can’t find my keys’ times everything. They can’t find anything in their minds. Of course they’re going to be angry. Even watching family members with these residents is rough because sometimes they come out of their family members rooms looking defeated because that’s not the person they grew up with. The children want a conversation of the past with their loved one and that loved one can’t remember that the person talking to them is their child.

And then there’s the fact there is a history of Alzheimer’s in my family. Watching the only man I knew as grandfather go downhill as a teenager was rough. I was grandpa’s little girl. My grandma has said, very openly since grandpa’s death, that I was always grandpa’s favorite. Being the younger of two girls and being near the end of the line of cousins, grandpa did dote on me and did spoil me probably more than the others. But the adoration was both ways. Near the end of his memory, my grandmother and I were the only two he remembered consistently. I was a month and a half away from graduation, coming home from a school trip when he passed. For a while I was angry that grandpa wasn’t alive and coherent for my graduation like he was for pretty much everyone else. (with the exception of my 2 younger cousins that grandpa never really got to know) So yes, this book was rough on me. I knew it would be. I read the synopsis, I didn’t go into reading this book blind.

So what did I think about this book? I don’t want to say I enjoyed it because you watch a woman’s journey to not remembering. It does hurt. You want to shake her and say ‘Alice, you put your Blackberry in the freezer. Don’t you remember?’ You so desperately want her to remember. I do think that this was very accurate portrayal of how things go. Genova definitely did her research. My book has book club questions and then an author interview at the end. Genova talks a lot about who she dealt with when she was working on this book. I admire her going through so much work for this book. I appreciate that work.

I definitely loved how the family reacted. Because everyone seemed to have their own take and their own opinions on what should happen with Alice and her care. And I feel like it would be very easy to write the family in a way that would make them all of like mind and all agree on what should happen. A lot of times, families will disagree. It’s what families do on a regular basis and the fact that a family member has dementia doesn’t always relieve the tension. Sometimes families agree, but not always. So I loved that there were arguments and tense moments. I also loved that this book showed the family’s sadness when Alice didn’t remember something. Which brings me to the point that this book is through Alice’s point of view. I wouldn’t have thought about writing a book through her eyes. But I think it got a stronger point across. It got the point across that people with dementia still see and can process things that are going on. They might not know who you are but they still know that there’s tension. And being from Alice’s point of view you see the slow but rapid decline. There always seems to be an area of life you forget faster or it doesn’t seem like you’re losing your memory as fast as you think you are. I feel like this book aptly describes the process of losing your memory from that person’s point of view. The confusion and the frustration.

I remember very clearly when my grandfather stopped driving. Grandpa was a trucker, so driving was a big deal, and his license expired and he had to go take the test because he didn’t renew it before it expired. He failed by 1 point. We all expected grandpa to not deal very well. But he dealt fine. When Alice stopped working as a professor, I feel like she dealt very well. I would want to deal that well. She did keep one of her students that she was close too and reading that student’s graduation scene made me want to cry.

Through all of this, I did appreciate this book. Will it be a book that I pull out all the time to reread again and again? Absolutely not. I have too many emotions that go along with dementia. It’s too heavy of a book for me. But it is one that I would loan out and tell people to read.

Yup. I’m still in Hungary.

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I think a lot of times, when a person does ministry in a foreign place and that person is single and they come back, you hear a lot of the good. You will hear the bad but no one can ever prepare you for the emotional journey that you will take. It isn’t perfect. It has a lot of emotions and not all good. I have never felt more alone than I have since I’ve come here. I also have never felt like people wanted me out so bad too. It’s been an interesting few months to be sure. I’ll start with the bad and move to the good. Because the bad is always stuck in a person’s mind at the time.

I’m a shy person in person in real life. Like really shy. Until I am comfortable with you, it’s really tough to talk to me. So in Mid-October, the school was like “hey, you’re not doing great. We’re asking for another native speaker teacher.” That was the day before fall break. Great. That was the actually the first time that I broke down since I’ve been there. I mean, I didn’t do it at school, I came back to my place and did it. So my boss came out from Prague and got everything taken care of. It was not and is not easy to think about and deal with for me. Good thing is that I’m here for at least a while longer. That’s a very good thing. That means I can invest in the faculty and students a little bit more. I have a faculty member watching a few of my classes this week and then I’m sure after Christmas things will happen or something.

Good things: I went to Germany in October. There is a German woman who was an exchange student when I was a freshman in high school and I went to stay with her and her husband. It was a fun time. Went to Heidelberg and saw a ruined castle and just hung out and practiced my German. We had Thanksgiving for the kids the Saturday before Thanksgiving and that drained me and the other American. 20 some pound turkey and we, more like I assisted in, made all the food. It was fun. We laid out paper as a table-cloth and had kids write what they were thankful for. Some of the older kids did math on it. I took a picture because it was intense math. Stuff I don’t like doing. And I got sick after it. Not fun. We also went to someone’s flat for actual Thanksgiving and it was good. I haven’t laughed like that since I left home. And I saw a guy get kicked in the chest on the bus that night. It happened right in front of us. It was really scary. But it’s a good story. One day I’ll talk about it more in a post.

I’ve done a few museums since here like the House of Terror and the Holocaust museum. I’ve gone to a couple Christmas markets. Budapest has the best Christmas markets by far. I also went to Bratislava (in Slovakia) a week and a half ago. It was cold and rainy but still really cool. I’d go back when I had more time and it was nicer out. I also will be traveling over the holiday. Vienna, Prague and probably Kraków. I’ll be staying with people I know over Christmas so I won’t be totally alone, which is good. The holiday is going to be hard enough but to be alone would be even worse. So hopefully everything works out so I can relax and not worry about school stuff because I could totally see me worrying about school and the outcome of that whole situation. But I’m traveling. YAY!

I’ve gotten involved with a bible study, a church and a book club since I’ve been here. All are good and providing me with some community. I don’t have many people close with my company so it’s hard to get community with them. But I have friends! That’s a good thing. The school also asked me to judge an English competition for 8th graders last week and that went well. I didn’t expect that to happen. I also helped the freshman last week sing a song for the whole school. That was fun.

All is good back home. Sister is pregnant with twins girls, due in February. So my niece/nephew count will double. MJ and I are doing a lot of calming down of each other. Things happen in our lives and we know how to deal with each other. She told me that my stubbornness was getting in the way of something. I’m not stubborn. I still insist I’m not stubborn. I’m not. I’m very agreeable. Anyway, we go back and forth worrying about each other. It’s what we do. We’re pretty much family. The Atlantic Ocean makes constant communication rough for us, but we get through it. We email all the time and we complain how customs has kept her package from me for 2 months already. I was supposed to have it before I went to Germany in October and I still do not have it. Boooooooo. I miss home now over the holidays and there are things I wish I could take care of back home but I keep myself busy. Because there’s nothing I can do over here right now. I just have to wait until my time here is done. I can do this. I have this taken care of. Don’t worry.

Yay for Posting.

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So last weekend, over the 4th holiday, (BTW, happy late Canada Day and Independence Day) we had a family reunion. My mom has 4 brothers and one of them has a lake house in Minnesota and that’s about half way for point for a lot of people so we met in Minnesota. 3 of the 4 uncles were there and almost all the cousins. I say almost all the cousins and, in my head, it sounds like that’s a lot of people but let’s break this down.

All together there was:

4 out of 5 siblings and 3 spouses.

9 out of 12 cousins

6 spouses of cousins

11 children of cousins. Actually 13 because sister is pregnant with twins. That’s right my niece/nephew count will be doubling around my birthday next year

4 dogs.

So at the most at one time, because some cousins left early, (cough sister, brother and their families, cough) 31 people in all. (that are out of the womb) It was a good time. Here’s some highlights of the weekend.

I got to drive the new pickup. That makes my life. But my dad and I changed spots after a while. There was a sign that said that there was work being done on the shoulder. Now here’s further proof I’m like my father. We both go at the same time. “I have 2 shoulders.” and we motion to our shoulders exactly the same. See proof. Also, on the way back, after stopping at implement dealers, we stopped to eat and we came up with a master plan to drive mom insane. That was fun.

My cousin and his wife, (FYI, there’s only 3 girls out of the 11 cousins and 2 of us were there, so when I say cousin, most likely it’s a guy) they adopted a little black boy. He’s only a couple months old and super cute and super black. At one point, some of us were in the kitchen getting supper ready and somehow, I procured this little bundle of joy. Not sure how this happened. But we were standing there and he was facing out and looking around and I was bouncing him around and my uncle comes around the corner and goes “Holy shit if that’s not a contrast.” Because I’m super white and this baby is super black. So he really wasn’t lying when he said we contrasted.

Another cousin has a little girl that has Downs Syndrome and she provides some entertainment. My cousin’s wife was holding her and we were talking and this little girl loves Frozen, like any little kid. And this girl started calling me Ana and she was Elsa. My brother-in-law brought up the Frozen songs on his phone and she started singing along and doing all the actions to the songs. It was so much fun to see. Then that night she was going to bed and I go “Goodnight Elsa.” And she looks at me and goes “ANA!” with this big grin on her face. Talk about melt your heart. The rest of the weekend I go “Who am I?” Ana. “Who are you?” Elsa. Pretty sure the family will be calling me Ana for the rest of my life just so they don’t have to mess up on the M names me and my siblings have.

The day after the fourth, we’re all standing down by the lake for breakfast. My sister and her husband were late getting up. An uncle comes up to us and says, “Megan’s up at the house, awake.” We all look at him and ask him to repeat himself. So he repeats it exactly how he said it the first time. I look at him and go “Hi, I made it down to the lake.” He looked at me and goes, “That was fast. But I meant the other one.”

So that was my weekend. I also went back to the nursing home this week. I just finished 4 shifts in a row and have 3 in a row starting tomorrow. For not being put on the schedule this month, I’m sure working a lot. 10 shifts in like a 2 weeks. Who knew that there would be so much work at a nursing home……I did.

So I’ve been back at home for about 2 weeks now from the Chicago area and I’m kind of missing it. Like the social part, being around people my age and similar personalities. It was like college except not.

So remember me talking about friendish/acquaintance at church? I still don’t know what to call him. Sure, let’s go for it. We’re friends. So today, he walks into church with this girl and he comes over to me and gives me a hug. ugh hugs. I am not a hugger but I deal with it. So he introduces the girl, who I think is his girlfriend, but I don’t know because he didn’t say she was his girlfriend just told me her name. Ok, here’s my deal. If it was his girlfriend, he should not have hugged me, even if it is in his personality go be a hugger. Right? Anyone agree with me?

I went to the doctor this past week, waste of my TIME! and I swung by Barnes and Noble and picked me up Book 8 of the Outlander series. Only a month and a half after it came out. Megan for the win. I am just starting it and love it. YAY!

OH! MJ and I are having a girls trip in like a week and a half. We’re going to Fargo! No jokes please. It’s the first time we’ll have actually seen each other in like 3 years. This is going to be EPIC! And maybe a yearly tradition.

Sounding Boards

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I’m in the final week of my training and I’m meeting more people with my company which is always a plus. I go home on Saturday. My phone broke as well this weekend. That’s annoying. These two things are connected. Let me lead you though a journey in my head. I have a few people that are my sounding board. There’s not many but there’s a few. I don’t like it because I always feel like I need to be the strong one but everyone’s got to have a sounding board. I’ve had a lot of stuff thrown at me in the past few weeks and I need that sounding board. I’ve had moments where I’ve doubted this journey I’ve decided to take, I’ve had funny thoughts out of tiredness that only a few people can understand. I’ve had more moments of panic in the past couple of weeks than I like. I’m also on a lot. Like there’s been a lot of small groups and one on one and I have to share my heart with people. That is not in my nature. I only do that to people that really know me. There’s a lot in my head and having no phone the past couple days has been tough. Unless it’s im’ing or email, I’m disconnected to family and friends that I do this with. I have a lot of cooped up emotion. Yes, I do have a roommate that has been here with me the past three weeks but it isn’t the same. She doesn’t know how to deal with me. She’s a lovely and sweet girl but would give me a hug when I feel bad. I don’t do hugs, or at least I don’t do hugs with a lot of people. And I’m not asking for these sounding boards to fix what’s going on with me, I just need a distraction for a while so I can reset and then deal with life.

So this makes me realize….I’m going away for about a year. I won’t have these sounding boards there either. I need to prepare myself for this separation. Which scares me. I have a tendency to close myself when I know that there’s going to be a long separation. It’s not healthy. I know this. I’m already closing myself to the people here this week that I’ve been with all month. It’s something I need to consciously change. I’m not going to make it if I don’t change it. Positive note: I did meet the girl I’m living with this next year. She’s very out-going and bubbly. I counter with my quietness quite well. But listening to her today made me draw back and not want this anymore. Is it normal that I’m not wanting this anymore? No, let me restate that. I want this but am doubting if I’m doing this at the right time. I know, I know. God’s got me. God has a plan in this. One time, I wish that God would let me in on a plan. It’s not making me happy that I don’t know if this is going to work. I know I can’t be the only one doubting my life journey but it’s tough on a planner like me.

I know that this blog has been kind of a downer lately. It’s just where life is right now. It’ll get better. I promise. On a totally different subject, I got called sarcastic again today. I feel like that’s a runny trend in life right now. People take me as sarcastic.

Catch Up.

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I know I’ve been doing a lot of these but I’m busy, leave me alone. I’m going to do a catch up on my life post again. So here’s the run down on what’s going on.

My chest got stared at and my butt touched, by different men, a week and a half apart and one should not have done what he did. One of my residents told me we were sisters and was disappointed when I told her my brother was married with 2 kids. I got a new computer, which I can’t get on the internet with yet because my parents don’t have wireless. I guess I’m going to Budapest now instead of the Czech Republic. My nephew graduated kindergarten, niece turns 5 next Tuesday. Today is my last shift at the nursing home for a month. I fly to training on Sunday. I’ve helped move equipment from field to field, emptied a pickup of seed bags and been under the drill helping to free it from twine.

Let’s explain some of those things now.

The company I’m working for sent me an email, that I saw yesterday because I’m busy and can’t check my email every day, and told me there’s not enough teaching spots in the Czech Republic. I’m pretty disappointed. I’ve been preparing myself, my heart for this and falling more in love with the country for 8 months and now I have to switch my thinking around in less than half that time. I mean, I’ll deal with it and the company can’t help what the schools want. But there’s been tears about this. But I’ll get over it.

I went shopping yesterday. If you’re Facebook friends with me you know I’ve started to pack for my training. I also said that I felt like I had no clothes for this. So as much as I hate it, I went shopping yesterday and spent way more than I like. You also know that MJ and I had a conversation on a post I had about going shopping. I hate shopping. I’m not a girly girl so going shopping is like pulling teeth. MJ and I have also have discussed me getting into a dress or skirt. She wants to get me in a skirt so bad. She’s trying to get me to be a girly girl. Trust me, if MJ had her way, I would be in dresses and skirts and heels all the time. I’ll take my jeans, tee shirts and boots, thank you very much. So yesterday, to torment MJ, I sent her a selfie of me in a skirt. She still doesn’t know if I bought it or not. If I knew that MJ wouldn’t be reading this post, I would give a definite answer if I bought it or not. But I’ll never tell. Is trying on a gateway drug for me being a girly girl? Hope not. I also got a computer yesterday, but like I said, can’t use the internet on it yet.

So the last post (I think the last post) I talked about the guy that said “Sooooo, you’re a woman”. I mean, I’m not a girly girl but it is kind of obvious that I am of the female gender. Caught him staring at my chest the other day. Awkward. Then he was disappointed to hear that I was leaving. I may be misreading this guy, but is he into me? I hope not. I’d most likely break his heart. No, not most likely, I would break his heart. Poor guy. Fall out of love with me. We’re not made for each other. I promise. We’re too different. I’m to aggressive for you. (It’s weird to think I’m too aggressive for someone) You can find someone better than me. No one saw that coming from me right? Me saying that a guy should find someone else. Mark that down as a significant day in history. And this guy isn’t a bad guy. There’s just enough room for one awkward person and I have that semi-down. He’s not bad looking either. I’m just not interested. Let that be known. I’m not going to talk about the other incident because I don’t want to be pissed off again because that’s what happens when you touch my but and I don’t want you to. I get pissed. And the story could get people in trouble. I’ll must be quiet about it. I know only one person that knows what this reference means but I almost pulled a Brad on him when touched me. (I almost got violent.)

So along with working at the nursing home (last shift for over a month. YAY!) I’ve been helping at home. That means I get to drive a pickup around on country roads. I don’t think people realize how happy this makes me. If I could get a job from late April to about October driving a pickup around on country roads, I would take that in a heart beat. Especially if it’s an old pickup. Makes me even happier. See. Not a girly girl. I’d rather be in an old pickup with my hair up in a messy bun or in a pony tail driving around. Further proof that I need to marry a farmer. I’d totally move back to the farm full time if I could.

The kids are growing up. The nephew is now a kindergarten grad and the niece will be starting kindergarten in the fall and turning 5. The nephew continues to break my heart every time he’s excited to hang out with me and then asks me how many days he has left with me. I’m continuing to the love the niece even though, personality wise, we’re completely different and she drives me a little crazy every once in a while.

MJ and I have still been writing. It’s our drug. I joke that I’m the puppet master of this story because I plant ideas in her head and she goes all dramatic on her sections with these ideas and it’s making our story 1,000% better because my sections are lame sauce. There’s amnesia involved now and a super lame guy. I’ve used lame to describe this guy like a thousand times. He’s so lame. This story is turning into a soap opera. I’m convinced. Now MJ is taking a vacation down south and I’ll probably have to wait for an entry…… 😦 sad face.

So that’s the main things going on in my life. It sounds like a lot and it is but it’s all non-exciting things.

So there’s this car place in the area. It’s Kupper Chevrolet. Do you pronounce it Kupper like cup-her or coop-her? I’ve been pronouncing it cup-her. I’m wrong. It’s coop-her. What the eff? I’m pronouncing it right, everyone else is wrong. Sorry that was a random tangent. It’ll happen again.

Mothers Day

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Today was mother’s day. I love my mommy. But I failed. I didn’t get my mom anything. Yesterday we went to go see one grandma and we went with my sister-in-law and the kids. I was sitting in between the kids and mom was going into the store. I yell at mom to get herself a card on me. Mom and the sister-in-law roll there eyes. I woke up this morning and told mom that I was going to make her a card but obviously nothing was going to be as nice as what she would have picked out for herself. She laughed. Does that mean I was right? I can be crafty but I’m sure that my card would have been lame. Being 26 and thinking about making your mother a mother’s day card can be lame. Pretty sure. But it is her fault for not following directions.

We went to go see the other grandma today. We stopped and went to church with my aunt and uncle and then we took grandma out to eat. When I got my first pair of boots in college, she saw them and told me that since I had boots, I was going to attract all the cowboys and now every time she sees me in boots she comments about how I don’t have a cowboy. I am aware of this. So we go back to grandma’s apartment and I’m looking around because the med that I’m on for my thyroid gives me this extra burst of energy and so I wasn’t sitting still. Behind me there was a newer looking card that said something to the extent of “Happy Birthday to my wife”. My grandfather, the one married to this grandmother, has been gone for about 33 1/2 years. He died of a rare blood disease a month and a half before his first grandchild. So I was confused. It’s not grandma’s birthday for another month or so and I know she kind of has a boyfriend in this complex. I say kind of because pretty sure it’s not official and grandma gets all huffy about it. So I was like “what if it’s from this guy? Did they secretly get married? Grandma getting married right before she turns 80? No. I need to be there for that wedding.” So I ask mom and dad if they know about a secret wedding. This card looked way to knew to be from 30 plus years ago. They didn’t know. We went to my aunt and uncles place for a while and so I asked my aunt. No, it’s a card still from my grandpa. It’s an incredibly sweet thing to have. This is almost a gross cute thing. This must have been the last birthday card grandma got. But a part of me was a little upset that grandma didn’t have a secret wedding. I don’t think that would set well with grandma’s children though.

After we left we stopped at this little restaurant we used to stop at when I was little. This place hasn’t changed since I was little. Same carpets, same restrooms that say ‘cowgirls’ and ‘cowboys’ on them, same red glasses. The same red glasses. These glasses epitomized eating at this restaurant when I was little. I had a rant about how amazing these red glasses were tonight. They were amazing. I still love them. I then told mom and dad what section we used to sit at all the time and the pictures haven’t changed a bit. Still looks like 1996 in these pictures. You have to love small town diners that never change owners or workers. Lots of memories there.

Tonight my brother and his family came over to give mom her a mothers day gift. The nephew looks at me and says “you’re going to be here for 10 more days.” I was a little confused so I had him repeat it and his parents and I kind of looked at each other like “What the hell is this child talking about?” Then it dawned on me. I had explained to him a few months ago that I was going to be living at grandma and grandpa’s for awhile, or at least until he was a first grader. He graduates kindergarten in 10 days. That’s where he got that. Geesh. That kid.

So I’ve been doing some editing to the story MJ and I are telling. Do you hear that MJ? I’m editing and adding. I’m trying to pull my weight in this story. Trying is the key word there. We decided that we aren’t ready to leak this story to public yet so no one gets to read it. But it’s amazing. Because we are amazing.