Category Archives: friends

Re-entry/life Update.

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I realized I haven’t done a personal update lately. Honestly, there isn’t much going on. I did do a mini-vacation to the South Dakota Black Hills. I have a friend down there and did a little hermit-ing. It’s a long drive and I’m one of those people that don’t stop unless I need to fill gas or my bladder will be exploding in two seconds. I inherited that from my father. He got that from his dad and from delivering bulls. I’ve also given up alcohol for a while. I realized that it would be very easy for me to justify having a few beers or a glass or two of wine by saying that the job was getting to me. I don’t want to be dependent on alcohol. And with being an extreme introvert having to be a CNA at a nursing home, it takes a lot out of a person and getting my rejuvenation from alcohol isn’t okay. I’m also looking at adopting a five year old malamute/shepherd mix.  It’s time for me to have a companion.

The big thing I want to talk about is June 18 of this year. That was the one year of leaving Hungary. I may have mentioned this in passing. It was a hard day on me. I struggled in Hungary. I also had people that I didn’t realize I grew to love in those ten months. People don’t understand how I would complain about Hungary and then be scared to come back. It’s because I didn’t realize there was love underneath the hurt. It’s not easy to describe to someone, especially if they are resistive to what you have to say. The first six months after I came back were very rough on me. I’m still dealing with the consequences. Sleep schedule, ovulation scheduling, (please, if you didn’t see me saying that, you need to read more of my blog) eating, all of that. I realize that there are people that have it rougher but I’m not going to lie that there was a lot of pain. I do realize there’s variations and depths to pain. I have realized that when me, specifically, is in pain, I don’t deal with someone else’s pain. At all. I had people wanting me and needing me to be present for their pain and I could not do it. I know I have one person, in particular, that will never forgive me for that. I regret that but I cannot go back and fix that. In that first six months, I needed to heal and reacclimatize to my own culture. It’s normal. When I was in training to go overseas, they were warned us about this. They said we will have two homes. It’s true. I keep in contact with a lot of people in Hungary, ex-pats and Hungarians alike. It breaks my heart every time they ask me when I’m coming back. I have two homes. And it’s weird. I talk to people in Hungary in spurts and then it’s come back to us. They can definitely tell at work when I miss Hungary. I start the shift very melancholy. If only I could live both places easier.

The one major thing about me being home and I noticed this some in Hungary that I am more sensitive to certain things. Little things that people don’t mean anything by hurt me and broken plans send me into a not a good place. Certain songs send me in a melancholy. Certain people I have to guard my heart against, even thinking about them, because I overreact. Sometimes this makes me feel silly that I can’t handle certain situations like I feel like I should. I also feel bad for anyone that is close to me or will be close to me because I have issues. Part of the reason I’ve become a little bit of a recluse. But there’s no shame in healing. And please don’t think that this happens all the time. It doesn’t anymore. I have come a long way. I wish certain people would have invested in me more after coming home.

I know that this isn’t my normal post and it would probably be a lot more in-depth if it wasn’t almost three in the morning. But I need something to do while listening to rain and carpool karaoke. Probably more of me at a later date. I am okay. I’m an adult, more than before, but I am an adult. I can handle this. Please don’t worry.

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Not a Book Review. Life.

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I have gone back and forth on this post. After the last personal post, I told myself I wouldn’t do a personal post again because I got some criticism from people that made me upset. I figured why should I share my life if I get what I got. But then thinking, I shouldn’t be scared to share my life on my blog. I shouldn’t let the criticism get to me especially when it’s from someone who doesn’t know the whole story. There are people who have followed me since before I became a book blog. I didn’t hold back before and although I probably will here back more now, I’ll see how it works having personal stuff back on the blog. And this post will be pretty personal because just journaling isn’t enough sometimes.

It’s one thing to come back from living in a foreign country. Everyone reacts a little different. Some people transition just fine, some go through PTSD. It depends on what went on when they were overseas, what’s gone on back home, personality. It depends on a lot of things. If I came back last summer to a perfect situation, I think I would have transitioned fine. But it was not perfect. First I came back to a family that didn’t know how to react to me or help me. Then I also came home to a not great situation with the friend who was like my sister. She was going through a lot, more than me, and I couldn’t support her. So until 2 weeks ago, we’ve been going back and forth. In her grief she said things that I took way to personally and still haunt me. I told her minor things that were wrong when there was more going on to shield her. Two weeks ago or so, she said enough and we’re through. Forever. I think it’s a good thing that we have parted ways, in a way. There was a lot of anxiety and hurt on both sides. But forever is a long time.

In December, what prompted that last personal post, my sister-in-law left my brother. There’s a lot of details that I’m not going into with that. Just know that it has not been a great situation. They have been together almost 18 years, almost 2/3 of my life, and she was like a sister to me and now the respect and love is not there anymore. This one didn’t hit me hard, it hit everyone hard because they didn’t let anyone know what was going on.

So within too short of a time I have lost two women who were like family. One I will take a lot of the responsibility for because there were things I should have done differently. But hindsight is 20/20. The other wasn’t my fault. I looked around and realized that the other people who were in my life previously had not asked how I was holding up. They saw and knew of what was going on and still did not want to know. I admit some blame on some relationships going south because I won’t let anyone close anymore. But it’s hard to want people close to you when you hurt and you feel like you’re the only one trying. Again, that’s not with everyone that was in my life, but it’s with some.

What do I have now? I have no close friends I can rely on. Though my family is close, I cannot adequately convey to them what has all gone on and get what I need from them. I have trust issues. I hurt. I’m in various stages of grief. I have the want to start new somewhere but am scared to leave. I have a hard time doing a lot reading. I hit a reading slump. I have read a lot so that doesn’t worry me. Reading’s been the one thing that has made me feel understood.

Since I’ve come home, have I been selfish and self-centered and hard to deal with and unfair and done a lot of harm to a lot relationships? Yes. Do I have anxiety? Hell yes. It’s not fun. Am I still going through re-entry? Sorta. Coming back to your culture gets easier but you still have moments. Have I shared too much in this post? Probably. Are there things I will have wish I had added in this post? Most likely. I realize I have not been a lot of good things in the past two years. I get that. I realize that. I’m trying to work on that.

Now will every blog from now be like this? No. I just wanted people to know what was going on. It’s a lot. So if I haven’t seem normal, there’s a reason. I will never be the old me who was always joking around. I mean, I’ll joke around but it won’t be the same.

 

….Yeah…..No Title

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This post might jump from place to place. Just…try….to follow my nonsensical ramblings.

Saturday was Valentine’s Day. In the past, I have had rants about the day and how there’s pressure to be with someone. To me it’s not a big day. Someone on Saturday told me happy Valentine’s Day and I feel like I looked at her like she was an idiot for a good 5 seconds before I realized that it was true. It was Valentine’s Day. It’s easy to forget holidays. Just like I had one of my kids remind me last week that it was Lincoln’s Birthday. I don’t think of it when I’m in Hungary. American holidays aren’t on their calendars and I’m usually thinking about what I need to teach so holidays aren’t a big thing. MJ, the friend who I am in contact with the most since being over here, posted something love on my Facebook wall: ‘Happy “who needs a man? I am a self-sufficient kind of lady” day.’ Followed by ‘I can buy myself chocolates. Take that world.’ I love this because there was a lot of posting by non-single people saying don’t worry singles, you’ll find the right person someday. You’re a great catch, just wait. This has always irked me a little. I talk a lot about being single here but, in real life, I really don’t bring it up. I think it’s because on here, I know I won’t necessarily get a response back and in real life I will and I don’t always want others’ opinions about this. And if I do bring it up, I will say something like “Happy Single’s awareness day” for Valentine’s Day and I’ll be joking about it. Don’t tell me then that I’ll find someone. I was joking. Don’t take me serious. People should know that by now. I also have a problem with this because not everyone knows where I’m at in my life. Right now, in Hungary, by myself, struggling to be a teacher, and sometimes emotionally inept, I can’t handle a relationship. I knew that would happen so that’s why I declared this a no-date year. When I get home and have dealt with the re-entry back into my own society, I might be okay with dating. Now, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone.

Another thing that is always brought up around Valentine’s Day, concerning relationships, is how you address the person you are in a relationship with. No, there is no ‘my man’. Did ‘my man’ lose the ability to function as an adult or become my slave? Slavery is what comes to mind when someone says ‘my man’ or ‘my girl’ or ‘my boo’. It sounds like that person is your possession to me. I know that’s not how it’s meant but still. Get over it. I never do this with words like ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’ because you are making sure that the person you are speaking to knows that the person in question is in a relationship with you….not owned. You will never hear me say ‘my man’. Because I will not refer to my significant other like that and I will never have a slave. Simple as that.

Saturday I was at a basketball tournament in another town. We tend to call this town Little America because it has the international Christian school and there’s a crap load of Americans that teach there. It’s also where everyone else in my organization is at. This tournament was very American and it was a little overwhelming at times. American food and candy at the concessions, a pep band, basketball. Granted, teams weren’t that good because it’s different when you aren’t in the states. I met some friends from Budapest there, they were there because they knew one of the coaches. I also saw and talked to some people from my organization. That was nice because I don’t get out there often because it takes me an hour and a half to do get there. So I have no community with them.

Community is one thing that I realize how important it is since I’ve been there. I’ve always thought that I was very good at being independent and being an island. You can’t do that here. There’s too much emotion that comes when you’re over in a foreign country alone. One day I’ll blog about ALL the emotions that I’ve had this year. But recently I have been angry about missing big events back home. I missed the birth of my twin nieces and have missed out on a lot of wedding and engagements. Things I can’t celebrate with these people because I’m here in Hungary. I understand that I’m doing something that needs to be done for me and there is a reason for this year but it’s hard to understand and grasp sometimes. I have found some kind of community here, though not with my own organization. The other American took me to a bible study when I first got here and have found community there, but sometimes it feels like I’m a third wheel there. I also have a group that goes out to eat after church on Sunday and that has been good for me. This year is important for knowing about community and finding my strength.

It is birthday week. I think something is being planned by the other American teacher. If it were me, I’d just hang out and go to museums this weekend. But I don’t think that will happen. The other day, it was one of the other teachers in my office’s name day and I said I don’t celebrate name days. They ask if I celebrate birthdays. Yes. And then they ask when mine is. Sunday. OH! Does anyone in Budapest know that? Like one other person. I wasn’t going to make a big deal about it. I think it’s going to be more of a deal than I wanted it to be. I’m only 27. It’s not a monumental deal. Crap, I haven’t had my birthday off from work since my junior year of college. I just work all the time. Not my problem I need money to pay for stuff like rent and food and student loans. Only bad thing about this birthday is that I’m sick. I hate teaching and being sick. You should see how much toilet paper tissues I have around me. That’s right. I’m using toilet paper because I ran out of tissues and now conditioner so I actually have to go to the store now. And I’m sick…and drinking tea….I never drink tea. Now I am because of being sick. No chances that I’ll ever like it when I’m not sick. Take that tea-loving Hungary.

Happy New Year.

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So I’m working on a bottle of wine. Let’s see if I can keep this coherent and not loopy. Right? Right. And it’s New Years Eve. I can drink wine if I want to…I’m an adult. So tonight, before drinking, I had a dance party by myself, in my kitchen to music in my head. I’m a great adult. I’m not crazy. But I am fun to hang out with. I’ll probably edit this later.

The past couple weeks have been good. The last week of classes were a little pointless. I was being observed but I got through them and got told I was improving. To which I wanted to answer, “Yeah, of course. I’m obviously going to approve from week 6 of teaching.” Whatever. Some classes give teachers presents. Some of them were quite interesting. But sweet that they got me something. I went into December not expecting anything. That was great.

The last day of class, I totally watched Jim Carrey’s version of The Grinch. That was interesting because a lot of the kids hadn’t seen it before. I was out of school way before noon and that was even more epic. The other American and I went out into the city and kind of celebrated the end of what we call “hell week”. Because it’s a rough week. So we went out to eat and to the Christmas market. Side note. I have accumulated 4 Christmas market mugs. I don’t need 4 of them. But I have them. End side note and the wine. Then we went with a group and caroled at a disabled home. Then we met some people to watch The Hobbit after we went to a Mexican restaurant called Arribas. There was us 2 American teachers, 2 Hungarians and a new guy from the states. Let’s call him P. He’s the only one to my right. I’m be sarcastically humorous because, let’s face it, that’s how I am with no responsibility. We’re all talking and then I feel a tap on my right shoulder. It’s P. He taps me on the shoulder to talk. Yup. Taps me. It’s nothing important, he just wants to get to know me. But I get tapped on the shoulder. Now I don’t know if had said my name before this and I didn’t hear him but I got tapped on the shoulder. Yup. Nice guy and he’s a shoulder tapper. We went to the Hobbit and I fell asleep and made references to The Mighty Ducks, Remember the Titans and The Matrix. I think I win.

I then started traveling starting on the Sunday. I first went to Vienna. It’s only a few hour train ride so that’s good. I get off the train and I pick up a map and I go to my hostel. That’s right, I went to a hostel. It was interesting. The first night, I had the room to myself. I did take a shower. That shower, I’m convinced, was made by men. First they say take 5 minutes. That made sense because there’s many people using that shower. But I have long hair and I need time to wash it. So I hurried but the light kept going out because it was motion censored and I guess I don’t make that much motion. Then the shower kept going off, I kept having to push in the button so I could get water. Made by men, Boo. Men don’t get it.

The next day I go out and I’m walking down the street looking like a tourist. With the shoulder bag, my farm coat with my name on it and a map in my hand. I really look like a tourist. This woman comes up to me and speaks to me in German. Several things. I could tell before she spoke, she wasn’t Austrian. She spoke in German to me. Then she spoke and I go, (mentally) you’re not Austrian. You’re American. I can usually catch German or I can get the drift. Not with this woman. I look at her and say I’m American. She goes so am I and I live here and I still can’t find my way around. So, I got mistaken for German in Germany and Austrian in Austria. Vienna was really cool. I liked it. My last night there, I had 2 French Canadian roommates. They would talk to each other in French and me in English.

I then went to Prague where my boss is. I stayed with her. She showed me around and on Christmas Eve, we were invited to a church service. It was between my boss’ church and the Catholic church across the street. First it was just a service, then it was with the Catholic church then it was a Catholic mass. I’m not Catholic. I grew up in a Catholic town, but not Catholic. They also offered us communion. This makes me nervous. Catholics don’t let just anyone take communion with them. So this was a big deal. I didn’t take communion. I just was uncomfortable with it. But I was at Catholic Mass on Christmas Eve. On Christmas day, after a minor breakdown on Christmas Eve, we went to someone’s house. My boss made tacos for a group of people and we went to someone else’s flat because they had more room. This person is Mennonite. We don’t have Mennonites near where I live. The closest thing we have is Hooderites, but they’re not the same. So it was interesting being there getting to know them. It was kind of funny because my boss was telling me about her and she was like “She’s a farm kid, you’ll have a lot to talk about.” Yeah. Okay. We didn’t talk farming.

Next night, we go to this place called the Tavern. Best burger I’ve had since being in Europe. Europeans generally don’t get burgers. Before we get there, boss is telling me about some of these people that will be there. She’s talking about this guy and goes, “He’s a farm kid. You can bond.” Because if you grow up on a farm, you bond. This guy did look like the bigger guy in the singing group Home Free. Nice guy, but didn’t bond. Kind of wish we did.

So I was out of Budapest for a week and decided to come back home. I get on the train and I ride for 7 hours with 3 German men. They played games the whole time so I didn’t have to talk to them much. But I understood a decent amount of what they said. I should have counted how many times they said shit in German. It was quite a bit. But I got to my temporary home. I like being home.

Past couple days I have been eating way too much. And there’s been great coffee. I love coffee. On the way home I did get Martin Short’s memoirs read. He writes exactly like he speaks. I love him. I also feel bad that he lost his wife. He loved her so deeply and I want him to have her back and I want a love like that eventually.

So I don’t have much else to say. So have a good new year and be safe.

More Awkward Encounters.

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So, why do I attract awkward situations with men? Seriously? I’m starting to blame this on the men. It’s not my fault. Let me explain. There’s this guy at work that just makes life awkward. Now, to be fair, he doesn’t have sisters, I don’t know his mom, I know he hangs out with guys a lot so he doesn’t have a reason to understand women. We have spent three shifts in a row together. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And usually at work, there’s a point of the night very early on that I get in this zone of, don’t bother me, I’m putting people to bed or I’m getting blood pressures. I get intense. So after I feed one night, I come back on the wing and he goes “If there was an intelligent race of fighter gorillas and they ruled over an intelligent race of dogs, what would their cultures be like?” I’m supposed to follow that? Really? He knows that I’m not into sci-fi. We’ve had this discussion before. Ugh. Then that night, I’m charting or putting stuff in the computer, he comes up to me and goes, “Can I ask a personal question?” My mind goes okay, what’s going on. I’m going to turn you down if you ask me out because I’m leaving, we’re really different but then I’d feel bad for turning you down because you’re awkward and someone needs to teach you how not to be awkward. So I go. “Ask and if it’s to personal, I won’t answer. I’ll dodge the question.” (B.T.W. We’ve already had that exchange already that I’ve had to wonder if he’s asking me out. He needs a different lead in.) So he asks his question and we get into this long discussion about religion.

Move to later that night. I pop into a store room to get a drink of water. He corners me. He asks me if I can put someone to bed that he usually does. Yeah. “You okay?” “Yup. I’m fine.” “You sure? Because sometimes women say they’re fine and they’re not fine. I don’t know how to read women. They’re hard. And I don’t deal with them very often.” (The nursing home is crawling with women and very few men. He works at a place crawling with women.) “I’m fine.” (By this time we’re okay no. I’m walking to another room to fill my water and he’s following me explaining to me that women don’t always say what they mean. And he obviously doesn’t know me well because if he did, he’d know that I’m pretty straight forward. I say what I mean.” “You sure?” he asks again. I look at him, annoyed. “See this face? It’s my I’m fine face.” “Okay.” he backs off.

Next night, he follows me into the store room and then to the water room. He comes in and I joke about him stalking me. “yup. I am…..So how you doin’? So that weather…..It keeps changing. Like how does it do that?” He jokes. Okay. That did make me laugh. We’ll give him that. He made me laugh once. ONCE! Don’t go marrying me off. And last night we got off without any awkward situations. YAY! No Awkwardness. I feel like at this point, it’s a weird, off day that I’m not having an awkward situation. Yeah, I’m that girl. Always awkward.

Book Front: I’ve been slacking but I have started and finished 2 books. Reviews to come.

I also watched the season premiere of Outlander on Starz. From my tired, after work brain, it was good. I want to watch more, not tired, to get a real opinion. Did anyone else watch that? I want to know opinions.

MJ and I are still writing our random story. I like it. I feel like it’s going to be a life saver when I leave the country…..in 2 weeks.

Sounding Boards

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I’m in the final week of my training and I’m meeting more people with my company which is always a plus. I go home on Saturday. My phone broke as well this weekend. That’s annoying. These two things are connected. Let me lead you though a journey in my head. I have a few people that are my sounding board. There’s not many but there’s a few. I don’t like it because I always feel like I need to be the strong one but everyone’s got to have a sounding board. I’ve had a lot of stuff thrown at me in the past few weeks and I need that sounding board. I’ve had moments where I’ve doubted this journey I’ve decided to take, I’ve had funny thoughts out of tiredness that only a few people can understand. I’ve had more moments of panic in the past couple of weeks than I like. I’m also on a lot. Like there’s been a lot of small groups and one on one and I have to share my heart with people. That is not in my nature. I only do that to people that really know me. There’s a lot in my head and having no phone the past couple days has been tough. Unless it’s im’ing or email, I’m disconnected to family and friends that I do this with. I have a lot of cooped up emotion. Yes, I do have a roommate that has been here with me the past three weeks but it isn’t the same. She doesn’t know how to deal with me. She’s a lovely and sweet girl but would give me a hug when I feel bad. I don’t do hugs, or at least I don’t do hugs with a lot of people. And I’m not asking for these sounding boards to fix what’s going on with me, I just need a distraction for a while so I can reset and then deal with life.

So this makes me realize….I’m going away for about a year. I won’t have these sounding boards there either. I need to prepare myself for this separation. Which scares me. I have a tendency to close myself when I know that there’s going to be a long separation. It’s not healthy. I know this. I’m already closing myself to the people here this week that I’ve been with all month. It’s something I need to consciously change. I’m not going to make it if I don’t change it. Positive note: I did meet the girl I’m living with this next year. She’s very out-going and bubbly. I counter with my quietness quite well. But listening to her today made me draw back and not want this anymore. Is it normal that I’m not wanting this anymore? No, let me restate that. I want this but am doubting if I’m doing this at the right time. I know, I know. God’s got me. God has a plan in this. One time, I wish that God would let me in on a plan. It’s not making me happy that I don’t know if this is going to work. I know I can’t be the only one doubting my life journey but it’s tough on a planner like me.

I know that this blog has been kind of a downer lately. It’s just where life is right now. It’ll get better. I promise. On a totally different subject, I got called sarcastic again today. I feel like that’s a runny trend in life right now. People take me as sarcastic.

Catch Up.

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I know I’ve been doing a lot of these but I’m busy, leave me alone. I’m going to do a catch up on my life post again. So here’s the run down on what’s going on.

My chest got stared at and my butt touched, by different men, a week and a half apart and one should not have done what he did. One of my residents told me we were sisters and was disappointed when I told her my brother was married with 2 kids. I got a new computer, which I can’t get on the internet with yet because my parents don’t have wireless. I guess I’m going to Budapest now instead of the Czech Republic. My nephew graduated kindergarten, niece turns 5 next Tuesday. Today is my last shift at the nursing home for a month. I fly to training on Sunday. I’ve helped move equipment from field to field, emptied a pickup of seed bags and been under the drill helping to free it from twine.

Let’s explain some of those things now.

The company I’m working for sent me an email, that I saw yesterday because I’m busy and can’t check my email every day, and told me there’s not enough teaching spots in the Czech Republic. I’m pretty disappointed. I’ve been preparing myself, my heart for this and falling more in love with the country for 8 months and now I have to switch my thinking around in less than half that time. I mean, I’ll deal with it and the company can’t help what the schools want. But there’s been tears about this. But I’ll get over it.

I went shopping yesterday. If you’re Facebook friends with me you know I’ve started to pack for my training. I also said that I felt like I had no clothes for this. So as much as I hate it, I went shopping yesterday and spent way more than I like. You also know that MJ and I had a conversation on a post I had about going shopping. I hate shopping. I’m not a girly girl so going shopping is like pulling teeth. MJ and I have also have discussed me getting into a dress or skirt. She wants to get me in a skirt so bad. She’s trying to get me to be a girly girl. Trust me, if MJ had her way, I would be in dresses and skirts and heels all the time. I’ll take my jeans, tee shirts and boots, thank you very much. So yesterday, to torment MJ, I sent her a selfie of me in a skirt. She still doesn’t know if I bought it or not. If I knew that MJ wouldn’t be reading this post, I would give a definite answer if I bought it or not. But I’ll never tell. Is trying on a gateway drug for me being a girly girl? Hope not. I also got a computer yesterday, but like I said, can’t use the internet on it yet.

So the last post (I think the last post) I talked about the guy that said “Sooooo, you’re a woman”. I mean, I’m not a girly girl but it is kind of obvious that I am of the female gender. Caught him staring at my chest the other day. Awkward. Then he was disappointed to hear that I was leaving. I may be misreading this guy, but is he into me? I hope not. I’d most likely break his heart. No, not most likely, I would break his heart. Poor guy. Fall out of love with me. We’re not made for each other. I promise. We’re too different. I’m to aggressive for you. (It’s weird to think I’m too aggressive for someone) You can find someone better than me. No one saw that coming from me right? Me saying that a guy should find someone else. Mark that down as a significant day in history. And this guy isn’t a bad guy. There’s just enough room for one awkward person and I have that semi-down. He’s not bad looking either. I’m just not interested. Let that be known. I’m not going to talk about the other incident because I don’t want to be pissed off again because that’s what happens when you touch my but and I don’t want you to. I get pissed. And the story could get people in trouble. I’ll must be quiet about it. I know only one person that knows what this reference means but I almost pulled a Brad on him when touched me. (I almost got violent.)

So along with working at the nursing home (last shift for over a month. YAY!) I’ve been helping at home. That means I get to drive a pickup around on country roads. I don’t think people realize how happy this makes me. If I could get a job from late April to about October driving a pickup around on country roads, I would take that in a heart beat. Especially if it’s an old pickup. Makes me even happier. See. Not a girly girl. I’d rather be in an old pickup with my hair up in a messy bun or in a pony tail driving around. Further proof that I need to marry a farmer. I’d totally move back to the farm full time if I could.

The kids are growing up. The nephew is now a kindergarten grad and the niece will be starting kindergarten in the fall and turning 5. The nephew continues to break my heart every time he’s excited to hang out with me and then asks me how many days he has left with me. I’m continuing to the love the niece even though, personality wise, we’re completely different and she drives me a little crazy every once in a while.

MJ and I have still been writing. It’s our drug. I joke that I’m the puppet master of this story because I plant ideas in her head and she goes all dramatic on her sections with these ideas and it’s making our story 1,000% better because my sections are lame sauce. There’s amnesia involved now and a super lame guy. I’ve used lame to describe this guy like a thousand times. He’s so lame. This story is turning into a soap opera. I’m convinced. Now MJ is taking a vacation down south and I’ll probably have to wait for an entry…… 😦 sad face.

So that’s the main things going on in my life. It sounds like a lot and it is but it’s all non-exciting things.

So there’s this car place in the area. It’s Kupper Chevrolet. Do you pronounce it Kupper like cup-her or coop-her? I’ve been pronouncing it cup-her. I’m wrong. It’s coop-her. What the eff? I’m pronouncing it right, everyone else is wrong. Sorry that was a random tangent. It’ll happen again.