I Do Have Smart Moments I Promise.

Not all of this may be me being smart but I am giving it a try.

This morning, I was talking to a fellow museum director and she was talking about this hotel room she recently booked. This hotel was left in shambles very suddenly by the former owners and the current owners are trying to get it back in order. This museum director said that she told them all she wants is a bed and a clean bathroom. I go, “And clean sheets, you want clean sheets”. The response: “Oh Megan, I’m glad you’re my friend”. I’m a thinker. And I worked in housekeeping in a tourist trap during the tourist season. I know what I want in a hotel room.

Recently, a high school friend of mine was named in the Bismarck Tribune’s 40 under 40. He is a young adult pastor at one of the churches in Bismarck. I could not be prouder of him. He’s done a lot of good and is amazing. He and a group just went to Chile for an outreach and I just saw pictures but it looked amazing. How many good things can I say in a short paragraph? Mmmmmmm, a lot.

I just recently stumbled upon a post by this woman and how her husband isn’t her soul mate. I had to read this because I was curious on how her husband wasn’t her soul mate. I was intrigued, let’s say that. I read through and I was impressed. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. There were points I haven’t thought about. No one’s pointed them out to me before. And it’s not like these points are like super hard, they’re just not thought about. Go check her out.

I know I talk about guys to the point of being obnoxious some times. There are posts I want to punch myself because I’m so obnoxious when it comes to guys. Like boy really didn’t need as much time as I gave him. This post kind of gave me a reality check that, God doesn’t necessarily promise me a husband. Yeah he has a plan for me and he cares about the desires of my heart. But a husband doesn’t always fit into that vision that God has for me. I should realize that. A little bit more often actually.

And you know, it’s kind of funny. I rant and rave about fictional characters and how teenage girls are obsessed with them for being sparkly and immortal and a lot of them aren’t looking at the good guys like Darcy or Jamie Fraser. Pretty sure, I’m not that smart with guys in real life. Why don’t I rant about that? I have enough awkward encounters with people to fill up a life full of posts.

And since we’re talking about relationships. Last week I was at a meeting and one of the women is pregnant and she’s due like any day and her baby is breached and they were talking about it and I’m not sure I want a breached baby like ever. Or go through childbirth. My own birth might be enough for me. Watch, I get married and the first thing out of my mouth is “Let’s make a million babies”. I can totally see that happening.

Since I mentioned Jamie Fraser, book 8 comes out in 8 months. That’s under a year…….if you didn’t realize. I know that the 12 month calendar is a hard thing for some people because I know I never remember which months have 31 days. I’m just helping. I’m amazing like that. (You guys are learning a lot about me today. First I’m a thinker, then I’m amazing. Who knows what’s next?) Ian and Rachel are going to get together, Jamie (I think) forgives Claire and Lord John for getting married because they thought he was dead and Claire needed some male protection because she’s too ballsy and gets herself in trouble. That makes Claire a polygamist. And it also means Claire is Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser Gray. And if we’re being technical, there should be another Randall after Fraser because she went back to Frank when she came back to the present. Confusing? Not if you’ve read the Outlander series. I would hate to be her if she had to fill out a scan-tron.

I finished listening to High Five by Janet Evanovich and started listening to Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. Remember me talking about these audio books? With the Muppet voices and the accents? Yeah, I’m continuing the insanity. But in my defense, I need something to listen to when I’m working. Alone. In a museum. So judge all you want.

Last night (or band night as I like to call it) I saw a friend that I haven’t seen in 3 years or since she graduated high school. She moved to Oklahoma and we just keep missing each other so I was super excited to see her. And she’s one of like 3 red-headed friends, making her special and maybe magic.

Remember when I said that there is another trombone player that’s this kind of old guy and he’s good in band? He was there last night for like the second time all summer and he struggled. I have never seen him like this. He couldn’t count, he seemed dazed. I was surprised and okay with my insignificance.

Well, I know that was kind of roaming in subject but that is my life. I am kind of a roamer and, in my opinion, entertaining. (yes, that’s vain. Deal with it.)

Brief Break of Silence

So I decided that I needed to break my silence briefly. I’m going to go back into silence for another few days to a week after this. I haven’t completely recharged yet. Be patient with me.

If you read my blog on a regular basis, you have seen that politics and tragedies rarely come into my posts. Sometimes yes they do. More than they used to. Here’s why I tend to stay away from politics and tragedies: My mind doesn’t work politically and it rarely comprehends tragedy. But then who can comprehend tragedy? With politics, I can understand but I have to dwell on it a long time and I have to almost over-educate myself to feel like I can speak on it. And with some of these things I am late getting to the party with talking about them. Like talking about Vietnam in the 60’s 2 years ago (okay that’s a tad over-dramatic but you get the point) I’ll try to keep this post light as possible because I don’t want a heavy post today so please don’t take anything personally. I mean everything with the best of intentions.

There’s been things going on. North Korea hates the U.S. and bombs went off at the Boston Marathon. I understand people hate the U.S. and are they justified? I don’t know. Maybe? I haven’t educated myself much on this North Korea situation only from the VlogBrothers (or this). Right now, that’s not in the fore front of my mind. So silly me, I don’t think I’m going to die from North Koreans right now. I have a better chance of dying from a bomb running a race.

Who does that? (Oh, by the way, I changed the subject to the Boston Marathon) They were innocent people. I know, random person who planted the bomb, that you hate the U.S. and want us all to die but really, bombing a race in where people, including a little girl, die is not the way to do it. I know we can’t all have the same mentality where we can all sit down and talk things out. There are people out there that violence like this is justified and sometimes brute force might be the answer for people to get the point. But a marathon? I don’t get it. Why there at that time? And as horrid as this is, I’m so jaded on tragedy. I hate that I feel this way. There’s been so much going on that I’ve guarded my heart so much that I’m jaded. Grr. But my sincerest prayers and thoughts go out to the families. No one should have to lose a loved one like this.

If this didn’t make sense. Sorry!

Enough ranting. Here’s an update on my life. There was a storm on Sunday Bismarck got about 2 feet of snow, we got like 8 inches. So looking forward to warm weather. I finished A Game of Thrones and am now reading Treasure Island. Why haven’t I read Treasure Island before? It’s amazing and I’m really enjoying it. I painted a ceiling tile for the museum yesterday and now have to climb up and put it on and no one is here to spot me on the ladder. Just in case I fall off the ladder and knock myself unconscious and have to go to the emergency room. I figured out crocheting kind of. Random guy is now considered my boyfriend in my circle of friends and only because we don’t know his name and he seems to like to talk to me the most. And I’m the most single? I don’t know, but he’s my boyfriend until we find out a name. He doesn’t know this, by the way.

I’ll be back. Soon-ish. I’m not ready to come back as much as I was. But this is a start. I’ll try to pick subjects where they’re more light-hearted and more me. Politics and tragedies aren’t usually me. I’m books, knitting, crocheting and awkward moments.

P.S. If you understand the North Korea thing or have an opinion on the Boston Bombing, let me know. I’d like to understand.

I’m Back.

Yes, I’m back in town. I’m tired, crabby from driving and really don’t want to go back to work in the morning. I got so much done this weekend on my afghan. I wish I could have gotten more done on reading. Ah sigh.

I got to see cousin E yesterday. I forgot how funny he is. I love him. He’s my favorite and I’m pretty sure that’s well known. He makes me laugh every time I see him. The sad thing is is that he is moving to Texas at the end of the year and I’m not going to see him as much. 😦 So now I’m advertising for his replacement. So if you’re interested, let me know.

I got to cuddle with my niece this weekend and have conversations with my nephew. I told him that I like seeing him and then asked if he liked seeing me and he goes “I like seeing your nook(tablet)”. Well, if that doesn’t give a girl the warm fuzzies. We also dyed eggs with Kool-Aid. I miss them so much. Wish I could live closer.

There was so much food this weekend. All that food…..I’m not eating for a while. Remind me of that tomorrow when my stomach is growling okay?

Oh by the way, remember how I’ve said my family doesn’t mention me not dating? Well, I should have knocked on wood. I saw both grandma’s this weekend. (both my grandpas are deceased) They both asked me jokingly about guys. It may have been jokingly but I really know they want to know when they can be expecting a new grandson. Yes, I really want to get married, but until the right guy shows up, I’m not going to worry about it and enjoy being single. Then yesterday grandma and my aunt and uncle and Cousin E came to church and Grandma sat next to me and the other three sat behind us. Church was over and Pastor Albert was in the back. I busted out my phone because I got a text from my friend Lisa. I texted her back and grandma yelled at me to put it away. Both my aunt and E had their phones out and they didn’t get yelled at. What’s the deal with that, right?

I had a thought the other night. This came to me when I was telling her that I would totally marry Mr.Darcy. She didn’t understand how I could marry a fictional character. It’s doable. I’m pretty sure. I’ll find a way that doesn’t involve me going insane.

I talk about fictional characters as if they were real. It doesn’t matter if I like the character or book or not, I talk about them as if they were real, live people. It usually happens with males too. Jamie Fraser and Claire and Ian, Darcy and Lizzie, anyone and everyone is real in my head as I talk about them on a real discussion of literature. I know where and how to cut off though. It isn’t always easy, but I can do it. Let’s face it, when you are talking about a fantastic fictional person, you want them to be so real. Jamie Fraser. It’s Jamie Fraser every time. If I could mash Jamie Fraser and William Darcy and make him real, I totally would. Talk about a perfect man.

Anyway, I’ll start posting like a normal person this week.

New Mantra: I can do this?

So in good news, I got a slightly better night’s sleep last night so I might be able to pull off the week. I think I was just exhausted from lack of sleep. AND I think I’m going to be able to pull this kids event once again. Though I’m still stressed. I can do this. You might hear that a lot in the next few posts. I can do this. I CAN do this. I can DO this. I can do THIS! If I repeat it, it will come true. If you want to come help or watch me run this event, you’re more than welcome to.

Ever have that one person in your life that their voice is like nails on a chalkboard to you? I have a vendor like that. He called me toady and he’s going out of business because he is writing a book. Just to give you an audio he had a nasally, medium-pitched voice and it kind of grated my ears. He proceeded to tell me that he about this guy who died and left his money to a Christian charity and he had to move his storage and how amazing his product sells. Then he asked me how the desert in Arizona was…….I live in North Dakota. Thank you. He said he was from Jersey. Does that mean he thinks that all states to the west run together? It’s quite a stretch from North Dakota to Arizona. Just saying. I mean I wouldn’t mind the winters in Arizona. They’re probably better than North Dakota winters. This phone call made no sense. I really would have had the guy take a breathalyzer or drug test to make sure he was sober. But maybe that’s a little harsh. So dude, in the one in a quadrillion chance that you’re reading this and you called……….no disrespect?

Have you ever noticed how many fillers we use while speaking? I was thinking about this while talking to Vendor guy. How many ums, uhs, ands, sos and erms do we use whiles speaking to a person or group? In high school we had to give speeches in English Class. Junior year we had a Swedish foreign exchange student and she could NOT stop using erm. (p.s. I have a funny story with her and a box elder bug, I’ll blog about it sometime.) We also had a guy that couldn’t stop using uh and he got docked on it. He was from a big family (10 kids) and our English teacher made the rule after one of his siblings that for an introductory speech they couldn’t introduce their siblings, spouses and nieces and nephews. It had to be about them, as an individual. I am always amazed with people who are great speakers. I was in speech and drama in high school and wasn’t necessarily good but loved experiencing the ones that were good. I wish everyone spoke well. And that I could use sign language…….

Now it’s gonna get a little political.

In other news. Actual news. Not just hear say. North Dakota’s Governor Jack Dalrymple (I’m kind of relieved he got reelected to a point because I was just learning how to pronounce his last name CORRECTLY at the last election. He took over for Hoeven when he went to the senate. I like Hoeven.) just signed an abortion bill that bans the procedure if a fetal heartbeat can be detected. This can be early as 6 weeks if I understand correctly. The governor also signed into law another measure that would make North Dakota the first to ban abortions based on genetic defects such as Down syndrome, and a measure that requires a doctor who performs abortions to be a physician with hospital-admitting privileges. It also makes us the hardest on abortion in the country. Now all this information did come from the Bismarck Tribune. I haven’t read any of these measures/laws myself. So I can’t say I am well-versed. My Facebook is all atwitter about it. I have mixed feelings.

Let me explain.

I am typically pro-life, yes that is partly because I am a Christian but mainly because I believe in life. I don’t understand, never have understood, how when you hear a heartbeat of the child in your womb, you can still call it a fetus. When does it become a life? I’m not trying to be smart, it is a legitimate question. If you can explain it to me, thank you.

I do believe that not every woman who carries for nine months is ready to be a mom and not fit to raise a child. I have 2 adopted uncles that are proof of that. Does that mean I agree with terminating pregnancy? No. It doesn’t. I agree with the choice of a woman to give legal custody of a child to someone who can take care of the child. But our foster care system, from my understanding, is not perfect. It needs tweaking.

Here is where I get the mixed feelings. I’m all for preserving the life of an unborn child. But where I have a problem is this measure got passed by a bunch of men. I don’t understand how these men can tell a woman what is right and what is wrong. It’s like we’ve gone back in history and women are the property of the men. Let me make the decision to have or not have an abortion,(which is never an option for me, personally) give the child up for adoption or keep the child. I have a friend that just got pregnant with her second and I don’t agree with this pregnancy but that doesn’t mean I can or can’t tell her what to do with the child, neither does the father who isn’t involved.

Am I crazy to think that these men can push through a measure on something like abortion and it be acceptable? Now like I said, I don’t agree with abortion, but I think this crossed the line. Obviously I have a problem with this because how many times do I post something with a political nature like this and then completely rant on it? Hardly ever. I just felt like I needed to put out my opinion on this.

Some people are also taking this into marriage equality. For me, this issue isn’t about marriage equality which I think should be touched on as well, but this is a different subject for me. Do I think a same sex couple should be able to adopt, yes. Some of these couples are better equiped to love than some straight couples. But that, to me isn’t the subject here.

This is obviously a hot topic and it could span off into a lot more conversations about who has the right to say who gets an abortion, doctors and abortions, when the proper time to have children is, it could go on and on. Like I said, I’m not an expert on this subject and not totally up on all the ins and outs of what was put before the governor, this was just a thought process. Relatively well-put together for a girl who’s going insane right?

I’ll try to put a more light-hearted post up next time.

I am Blue AGAIN!

So by some kind of miracle/accident/I-don’t-know-how-this-came-about, I found out there was a movie version of Blue Like Jazz. Remember that book? I kind of made fun of it a while ago. Go read how I felt about it. It’s not a great post or thought process but it’s ideas. Well, I may have been harsh on it. Maybe I was in a mood. I’m female. We get that every once in a while. I wanted to see how they dealt with turning this book into a movie. I found it on Netflix and I have watched it. The regular version and the commentary version.

It wasn’t bad. I knew the book was popular but I had no idea that the movie was such a big deal. Two guys started a campaign to raise money for the movie and did it in 10 days. That’s amazing. I find it amazing when a project has that kind of pull. Like I said, I knew the book was popular but crap. That’s really popular. And everyone that donated got their name rolling during the credits. Not after the credits, during the credits. That’s legit.

They obviously had to change a few things to fit into a movie format. I liked the references from the book they kept in like the rabbit and the carrot. (the cartoons, I found out in the commentary, was because Donald Miller needed to make the thing longer to make a page requirement, well played. That was one of my favorite parts of the book.).I liked the pope’s character. Not was he an interesting character but he was probably the best looking guy in the movie.

I think that the movie did a great job in getting across the point of the book. Obviously the book is a kind of memoir. Sort of. So it would be hard to get into a movie but it went well. Now don’t hate me, but there’s a lot of “Christian” movies that are really cheesy and the acting is horrid but the acting was really good and I thought that the cheese factor was kept at a minimum. I also didn’t hate the secular references/jokes in it. The point of the book and the movie, or a point of them, is that the church isn’t perfect and that Christians shouldn’t be kept to the church.

I liked Penny. She had my favorite quote of the movie. She was talking about how she read the Bible for a class and she goes “It turns out, I like Jesus”. Lauryn, she was so pretty. There was no ugly female in the movie. Throw in an average looking person please. The bear/the Russian entertained me. I thought his story was interesting.

I loved the ending. I thought it was a great thing and that Don knew that the Christians have messed up in the past and he was going to apologize. I also liked the closure that the pope had and that it was open-ended enough to let you speculate what happened. The whole ending was kind of like that. Not every movie can pull off the sort of open ending. This did.

I was going through the extra features late last night (it blizzarded here yesterday, so I closed early, did a little museum work at home and took a nap so I was up. This blizzard was way better than winter storm Gandlof. Did not disappoint this time.) There was a feature where the director (Steve Taylor) was working with the actors and the common theme was his love of The Hunger Games and Team Peeta and how “Lost” ended. At the end it went dark and said “More fun than The Hunger Games and a better ending than “Lost””, it made my night. If you get a chance, go watch that section. It made me laugh at like 12:30 this morning and I watched it a second time.

The commentary was hilarious. I could watch that again and probably will before I send it back to Netflix.

Goal for the weekend. Make plachinda. I don’t usually crave it, but all of a sudden, I hear the word and I crave it. No, I’m not pregnant. If you have to ask that question, you haven’t been paying attention.

Kissing Dating Goodbye.

Since I finished a book last night/early this morning. I’m going to talk about it. You thought I was really going to give up dating. HAHA. I wasn’t that convinced. I also appreciate the human male species a little too much. Even though the me and dating thing haven’t been going lately.

I finished I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. I all ready spent 2 posts on this book and am kind of relieved that this is going to be the last post. Or the last one in the foreseeable future.

Harris sure likes his lists. I thought I was obsessed with lists in my writing on this blog but he takes lists to a whole new level. I’m quite impressed Harris, quite impressed. There is a list for everything in this book. I thought for someone my age, it was a little excessive. I think that for the age group that it’s really written for, teenagers, it’s a good idea. In high school, give me a list and I could function better, give me prose and it would take me longer.

And, oh Lord, the examples. They were many. Now granted this book is probably meant to be read as more of a devotional type book. But really, how many people does Harris REALLY know? And all of them conveniently have something going on with their relationships that he can conveniently use in his book.

The writing was decent. Let’s leave it at that.

Like I said in the first post, I wish I had read this book in high school. It would have made me a lot more confident in being single. It’s not that I didn’t get anything out of it now, it’s just I was a little bit more naïve about relationships and all of that. I can totally see why some people deemed this book weird, especially if they weren’t Christian. I think that MOST of the negative reviews I read were justified to a point. Not everything that Harris brings up works for a large chunk of people. And if you read it at the wrong point of your life or you didn’t have the same background on it, it would be weird. But he brought up points that I think are very valid. He talked about limits that need to be set with physical intimacy and how thoughts can get you into trouble. This is true. I think some teens have way to much freedom today. Now that’s an opinion and it doesn’t apply to every teen and it works for some. I do wish he took care of the biblical parts differently. I wouldn’t want the text over-saturated with scripture but a little more, presenting it a little bit differently, I don’t know. I wanted differently. But that’s me.

I am kind of interested on Harris’ other book on courting. I led a lesson in a small group about courting and dating (great coming from the girl who really doesn’t date much right?) and I’d like to hear his opinion on it.

Anyway, it was a decent book. Probably better for a teenager but still got food for thought for a 25-year-old single museum manager like myself.

One of the next posts I’ll be talking about the movie Blue Like Jazz. If you remember, I did read the book and had a thought or two about it. Now in that post, I wasn’t a fan of the author or some of the thoughts. Now don’t get me wrong, I still feel like that but I do agree with Don Miller on some of his points. With the movie I do have an opinion. That’s coming up.

Side thought. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries on YouTube are ending at the end of March. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I don’t want them to end.

I’m a little Irked.

I talked yesterday about how I started reading I kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. I was reading reviews on the book at GoodReads. I came upon a certain review written by an atheist. I can understand atheism, I’m not an atheist, but I try not to be judgmental or hateful or try to “sell my faith” or even bring up religion around atheists. I’m not going to hide my faith however. If an atheist wants to bring it up and have a respectful and calm conversation about religion or faith or something, I’ll gladly have that conversation. I’d actually like to pick their brains a little too. Just out of curiosity.

A few months ago, I talked about bad reviews and how they are important and should be taken seriously and respectfully. This review by the atheist kind of got under my skin. This person might have been having a bad day or just has had enough of Christians pushing things on them. This person’s daughter is 19 and an atheist and was given this book by a Christian friend of the family. Then this parent read it and called the book weird. I can get that. Some of the ideas do seem weird for a non-Christian. I get that. That was the start of the review.

I feel like this review wasn’t a review, it was a rant. I may be reading way to much into this or be reading this wrong but leave your opinion to yourself and say you didn’t agree with the author because he didn’t offer enough scriptures for you or because you had a hard time agreeing with the theology or the opinion of the writer. DO NOT say someone else’s belief system is mythology (which the writer of the review did). That is offensive. I do not call Hinduism or any other faith mythology, I expect that in return.

The writer ended with saying that the daughter was no virgin and has no intention of selling off the daughter (that ties into something else that was brought up, which was historically based but the way it was put was…..well, I wasn’t a fan). Why would you put it like that? Why wouldn’t you say that your daughter isn’t the most innocent or not inexperienced and you don’t want to sell her off. I get that you know your daughter isn’t a virgin but if I were the daughter, I wouldn’t want my parent to announce that I wasn’t a virgin. That’s a private matter in my book.

There was also a comment on the author himself and how he needed an arranged marriage. The way it was put, I won’t go into details because that would take time and space and I don’t want to, didn’t need to be put in that way. Be critical of the book, subject matter, writing style, things like this, but attacking the author personally isn’t something I would do. But I guess that’s part of reviewing and publishing books, you’re going to come under fire.

There is a section coming up in the book about courtship. Which does work for some people but not everyone. This person wasn’t a fan of this portion either saying how courtship doesn’t prevent sex. Which is true but I’m sure it helps a little. If only a little.

Just for the record, I’m not sure if I agree on everything the author says either. I just choose not to attack. I choose to be respectful about how I put things. I would be the same thing with the an atheist author. I know I was a little hard on Augustine a few posts back but I never called his belief system mythological. I was kind of nice to the guy compared to this review.

So writer of the review, (if you read this) I don’t have much respect for you until you can explain some of your comments to me.

If you have opinions on this one way or another, let me know. Am I overreacting? Am I being a hormonal female and just taking this all to personally? I admit I kind of am but when I feel that a belief system (of any kind, even if I don’t necessarily agree with it) is being attacked, I get kind of grumpy.

I understand this is kind of a rant, I apologize.

Anyway, there are nicer ways to put a bad review. Be tactful. Don’t be offensive. Moral of the story, right there.

A New Book Has Been Started

I talk a lot about my singleness and relationships on this blog. Way more than I should. But in my defense, it’s what comes to my mind when I sit down to write, it’s something that is going on in my life. So I write about it. If you go back you’ll see that the books that I have a definite opinion on are books with religious aspects. That’s how our culture is now, we have an opinion on religion, unlike in the past where you were just supposed to accept what you were told. Now we’re let to form our own opinions.

These two are things are two separate ideas that are marrying today for this post and probably at least one other post in the future.

Today I started reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris with a foreword by Rebecca St. James. Big sigh. This was published 1996/1997. Meaning I was 7 or 8 when it came out. I obviously wasn’t dating or even thinking about dating at this time. I have heard about this book off and on through the years and have always thought it would be a great book to read and then it would be put back into some storage unit in my head. The other day, when I was looking for my birthday present to myself in my library’s book sale room, I stumbled upon this book. I picked it up, turned it around and looked at it, and said “what the heck, it’s a quarter, it’s my birthday present, I’ll buy it”. I started it today.

As a single female, I’m intrigued by it. I wish I had read this in high school. I think that it would have given me a lot more confidence in being single when I was in high school. Let me be clear, I wasn’t completely single through high school, but it was close. I’m only through the first part of this book (there’s four) and it makes me think. As much as I would have gotten out of this in high school or when I started thinking about guys, I’m getting a lot of this now at 25.

At this point of the book (a quarter of the way through), I’ve started making an opinion. Harris likes making lists as much as I do. Harris isn’t bad as a writer. I do wish that he wouldn’t use so many examples. It seems like everything that he touches on, he has an example. I do understand why he has them though. I think that this book is geared for teens who are starting to get into relationships. Not that non-teens won’t enjoy this book or learn something form it but that’s who is learning a lot about relationships, the fastest. The examples are there for people that need them and I have to admit, they do help a person grasp his concept. There just has to be a different kind of way through that example.

My favorite thing that he talked about, so far, is that he had a friend that had a dream before her wedding. In this dream, throughout the wedding, these girls kept coming up and standing on the other side of her husband. When she asked him about it, he said these are the other girls I’ve been with. I thought that was interesting. You always hear that, with sex, you’re with however your partner’s with but I never put it together with dating. And it’s true, the people you’ve dated, shape who you are.

I’ll probably talk about this book more in the future. This is just a starter post to get people up on what I’m doing with my reading life. If you’ve read this, what did you think? What are your opinions on the subject period, if you’ve read the book or not? Let me know.

It’s About Time…

So I finally remembered to grab my copy of Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller when I was walking out the door today. Everyone’s fascinated that I remembered right? I’ve only been talking about it for a while. I really can’t put up any defense because I really don’t have a good excuse.

So here’s what I thought.

I like the story behind the title. I won’t tell you, you have to read the book to understand. With that said, I feel like I couldn’t get in the right head space for this book. The sub-title was “Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality” so I should have read it as a person who doesn’t believe or has little belief in God. I feel like I got to that point and then he would say something and I would be like “What?”. I just couldn’t get there. The beginning of the book was rougher for me than the end of the book. I think it was because he gained more faith at the end of the book and I could relate better.

On Miller himself….well, I think he tries to write smarter than he is in some points and then tried to be 20 years younger in others. He lived in a “pretty cool house” (pg. 15) and talks about Eminem(pg 106). To me that sounded like he was 40 reminiscing about his college days or trying to connect to a younger audience. For a while I couldn’t figure out if he was being sarcastic about the house. Then he said something about Reed College in Portland, Oregon and how the students “love to dialogue” (pg 42). If you’re trying to relate and use Eminem or say things like “pretty cool house” then you don’t say that they “love to dialogue” or that’s what I think. I could totally be out of touch on that.

Then I had a what moment when he brought up the movie About a Boy (pg 180). If I remember right that wasn’t an overly popular movie so when he referenced it, I scratched my head, thought a while and then said “Oh, yeah, that movie”. It worked for what he needed it for. He referenced playing a slot machine at one point and I scratched my head again. The first third of the book I scratched my head a lot. The cartoons, I thought, were really cute. And I really did start to somewhat enjoy it like 60% of the way through.

He did make some good points like, God still pursues people. There were points of the book where I questioned his writing but there were some really eloquently written sentences that forced me to appreciate him as a writer or person. More than the writer than the person. That’s because I was having a hard time getting over that it was a book on “Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality”. Not that I don’t like people who aren’t Christians but because of how he put other things.

Some random things I wrote along the way.(because I’m classy and write in books) I didn’t edit any of these things because I don’t feel like it. “He connects ‘Child-like’ stories and intellect. But what kind of sermons is he listening to if he can’t find the intellect and the adult-ness that can be carried from childhood to adult? You need a platform or somewhere to start” (pg 31) “He probably comes back to see her and she died of tropic fever or something and then he feels guilty” (pg. 41 and I was wrong) “Is his magic my miracle/joy?” (pg 60) Let’s all follow Eminem “Really? THAT’S who you pick?” (pg 106) “Boy Meets World addressed that today. That is how it’s portrayed” (pg 176)

So I know that took a long time for me to get to but that’s what it is and I hope that there’s some appreciation to the review of Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. If you have a review of this or any thoughts, let me know I’d like to hear what others thought of it. I really do, I promise!

Why I Changed

The summers when I was 16 and 17 changed my life.

Now I don’t mean that like a regular teenager would have put it. I’m 24, so when I say my life was changed, I mean it now. I don’t see a random guy who I went out once with to change my life (unless something traumatic happened). But they really changed my life.

The summers when I was 16 and 17 changed my life for 1 reason. Chicago. I went on a 10 day out-reach to the inner city Chicago both summers.

For some kids, going to the city isn’t a big deal. But for me, it was a big deal. I’m the daughter of a farmer/rancher and nurse from southwestern North Dakota. Long vacations were tough to come by due to the fact there was always something going on whether it was seeding or harvest, weaning, calving, the state showing up for their yearly review of the nursing home. So the city was new and then to go into inner-city was a bigger deal. First time in my life that I was a minority. First time I had seen that kind of poverty. First time I had smelled that amount of pot. One of the first times that I had worshiped that kind of way, not that I hadn’t gone in full-fledged worship before but the first time I had prayed to the 4 direction and the first time that I had been heart-broken for that many people. Going straight into God-time and worship was never a problem.

I had fun during that time and it was a lot of work but at the time I didn’t fully realize how much it changed me. I knew I came back different. I knew God had touched my life during that time but looking back, I see it so much clearer and I appreciate it more.

Today I was at work and I quickly checked Facebook and one of my high school friends is now a young adult pastor in Bismarck and he had posted one of his sermons for his kids and he was talking about the different names of God. I was sitting there thinking about who we both were when we were in high school. (so many w’s in that sentence. Yay, alliteration!)

He has always been a strong guy, in personality, in faith. He’s stronger now though. That’s what I have always appreciated about him. He’s never faltered, that I’ve seen.

I have never faltered. I hesitate when I say that because my faith is different from when it was when I was 16 and 17. I have always believed. I sometimes ask why a certain thing happens, which I think the majority of people go through. What’s different though is that I don’t enter into worship like I used to. I have lost a level of un-hesitancy. Which is why I hesitate when I talk about how my faith was then and now. It’s changed. I pray differently, but I’m an adult I see things now differently than when I was 16. Back then I would pray “God help Cody be a Christian so I can date him” now it’s “God protect my future husband” something like that.

But Chicago changed my life. Why? First of all it changed how I see people. It opened my scope on what happens outside of my little corner and my normal isn’t everyone else’s norm. Second of all, I think that God put a passion in my heart for people who don’t know. People who don’t know God, whose education is not what I received. In southwestern North Dakota, everyone knows of God. Everyone goes to church, not that they all have a relationship with God. I also think that Chicago changed me in the way I present my faith. Now I know that you can’t just jump into telling people about God and I know that there are reasons on why people do things. Some people you have to ease into it. Back then I didn’t know. I was so busy telling people about God and thinking how they were wrong in their decisions.

If not for going to Chicago, I doubt that I would have that kind of passion for people. If not for Chicago, I don’t think I would have ventured out of my area and seen how other people live. I would have just stayed in a little nicer part of town. I have a lot to owe to those 20 days.

I apologize if this seems rambling.